Updated: Dec 16, 2021
They joke, “you so stupid,” as they laugh.
It’s #comical to them but they don’t know that I have that same thought without the #laughter. My #insecurities scrutinize my every move and conversation. I am #stupid despite being #educated and well spoken. Their joke is my confirmation while I lay alone with my thoughts at night.
They joke, “you are too nice,” as they laugh.
It’s comical to the but they don’t understand the number of times I was told that I was #unworthy resulting in my #inability to know my #worth. I am too nice but how do I stop? I have been taught and conditioned to give to others because they are worthy, and I am not. Their joke my is my confirmation as I look at my resources and realize that I have given it all away and I have promised others what I don’t have.
They joke, “you’re crazy,” as they laugh.
It’s comical to them but they don’t know that I question my #sanity daily because of the #trauma that I have endured and the lasting effects. I sit in a room full of people feeling lonely while my thought race and my heart pounds in my chest. I want to scream and run far away but I can’t, I’m stuck. Their joke is my confirmation as I sit and I ponder all of the contradictory things that fill my life pulling me in every direction.
Their joke, my reality!
Inner dialogue is often confirmed by the communication we get from friends, family, co-2workers, and others. This does not have to be true, you can take the steps needed to change it. This is hard work and requires dedication to overcome the negative thoughts. You have the autonomy to address the things that you do not like. Their jokes are words that present like a dagger but you can remove the personal meaning of those words so that they are soft like a cotton ball.
Healing is possible!