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The Storm That Engulfed Me

***Warning- This is about a journey of loss.***


Clear skies

The sun risen & at attention

Your giggle sporadically fills the room

You roll and explore

You are my sunshine

The Storm is brewing

Something seems off, just a little

I hold you and you are you, yet not

I feel unsettled

I take you to the emergency room

The clouds roll in quiet and fast

They poke, prod, and test for several things

Confirmation - pneumonia

Confirmation - Rhinovirus

Prepare for admission

Your energy depletes, they wore you out?

Through corridors, up an elevator, onto the unit

1, 2, 3 , 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13 people gathered blocking the walk way

They part allowing you to be rolled through on the hospital bed

The shy rumbles angrily

Security is present

All look worried, unsettled

The barrier is clear - what do they want?

1 straightened her shoulders

Short woman with blond hair & glasses

She addresses me - I say nothing

I shift my body in the direction of the security

I turn my head to the blond haired woman

She starts to ramble medical items, none new

The thunder crackled loud and violently

She paused, then continued

Kidney failure

Cardiac failure

Pulmonary failure

I pause

I completely face her, she has my attention

I look at her, ahe looks down at her feet

What did you say?!?!

She froze

The lightning flashed as the thunder crashes

A male stepped towards me

Tall, thin, dark short hair

Your child has multiple organ failure!

Silence filled the corridor

No! I need to see his lab results

They came prepared, they had me a document

Levels were extreme

Some too high

Some too low

I look at the blond hair lady and say, treatment plan?!?!

She lifts her gaze to meet mine

"An ambulance is on the way" is all was said

I look back to the Indian man

"He may need Dialysis, we cannot do it here, we have to transfer him to Children's" he added

I look around at the many faces

I tuck the document in my bag

I walk towards my son through the group

They part

I stand, holding his hand for was seemed like a blinknof time

Ambulance arrive, reports are exchanged

Back through the hall, down the elevator we go

Onto the ambulance

The downpour

Standing in the the hospital room

Looking at the machines, the stats, my child

3 doctos enter

Greeting exchanged

"How long has he had organ failure?"

Today

"What treatment has he had?"

This

"Test does not show these are new diagnosis."

He was diagnosed minutes before being transferred here

I tooknout my phone pulled up the digital medical records and showed the previous lab work

They look at me, then him, then asked about signs & symptoms

None

They leave the room

Standing outside the door I see them talking

The tears release and do not stop for what seems like an eternity

The Storm continues with less rain

Morning rounds occur

Med student - "You don't have to be here"

I refocus on the presenting med student

I listen as everyone rambles off treatment options

I interject and share other options and concerns

Confused the team, they turn to me

"I'm sorry, who are you?" The doctor asked

I look him in the eyes and respond, "How rude of me not to introduce myself. I am the parent of the child you are rounding on. I am the one that will be joining for rounds every morning and will be weighing in on every treatment item you think of. Any other questions?"

The doctor insisted, "We know this is a lot to process and we know you want answers, we are going to all we can for you son."

"I know you will because I will bee here with the team to discuss each step", I responded

The thurnder quiets

Months in the hospital

Dialysis started

6 blood pressure medications started

No clear cause of the organ failure

He is giggling again

The lightening fails to show

Discharged!

He returns to school

He continues dialysis 3-4 days a week

He participates in the Holloween parade at school

Thanks were giving that he made it through the storm

Christmas is approaching

We found matching pajamas for our pictures

The clouds part

On 12/19 the storm ended as abruptly as it started

The sun was high in the sky and so was he

The Storm ended


By M. johnson

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